From the porch--8/12/10

Call your parents.  Right now.  For no reason except to say hi.  In my family we are close, but maybe not calling everyday close.  Today, without direct intention or even realizing it until now, I brought flowers from the yard to my mom’s work and called my dad for a quick chat.  Just for shits and giggles.  It was nice and sort of gave me a warm fuzzy that was unplanned.  It’s good to be able to be geographically closer to the ones I love.  So, call your parents or send ‘em flowers or a letter.  I’m sure they will appreciate it and so will you. 

Today is the start of Ramadan.  Millions and billions of Muslims are praying, fasting, being mindful of their thoughts and actions, and spending time with family today.  And will do so for a whole month.  I’ll be honest…many a Ramadan has passed in my day without a 2^nd thought going through my brain.  The only reason I’m thinking of it now is because I’ve recently made a new Muslim friend from Algeria.  I’ve been thinking about him a lot for various reasons but I have to say that I find it hard to grasp his day-to-day in Algeria.  I’ve been reading tons of books about Algeria (thank you Waukegan Public Library…living 2 blocks away from you is just the massive awesome geek fest I needed!).  But still I find it hard to mentally create a palpable existence for him from something I’ve only read about in books.  Especially a life steeped in religious guidelines and discipline so clearly absent from my own life.  Plus to think that millions or billions of people are all moving together in the same motions today all because of some dude called Mohammed…wow.  I don’t know…it’s just kind of interesting to let my mind wander in that.  Physics, time, relativity, etc dictate that different universes and planes of existence may or may not exist in parallel with our own.  But we don’t have to look far or use calculus to see other worlds.  Other planes of existence or reality.  It’s a big old goofy world out there and even a person walking down the street in front of your house is occupying a different orbital of life.  Your mission is empathy  and understanding for each person you encounter…and even those that you don’t.  Not easy…yes.  But try hugs, smiles, friendly words, and the underlying fact that humans are humans are humans.  Umuntu ngumuntu ngumuntu.  These tools work wonders.  You don’t need physics or Einstein to get that. 

Side note:  How much random shit do we get into cos of our hearts?  I tried Pink Floyd in high school (minus the drugs) because of Alex Radosevich and now I’m on some crazy Algerian tip.  All because some cute boy spoke French and smiled at me.  But at the end of the day…I’m learning and pondering in new directions because of it.  Life is strange and takes us in so many directions, some good some bad, because of cute smiles. 

PBR aka Pabst Blue Ribbon beer is a solid ass beer.  So cheap and doesn’t exactly taste like crap even though it’s union made in Milwaukee, Wisconsin…the home of shitty beer production.  Yeah, it’s resting on its laurels from some prize (a blue ribbon prize…) it won in 1-8-9-whatever, but right on.  PBR…you rock my silly American world.  Thanks for being on draft almost everywhere.  You always got my back.   

Yeah…I’d rather drink Oberon with a slice of orange, but I still loves ya PBR! 

Teenagers…eat a dick.  I was so happy to get back to being around you.  Shooting the shit, being silly, being a guide if you need that.  But today the balance was thrown off and you annoy me.  Thank goodness for PBR to help me release the tension you built up between my ears.  I haven’t given up on you.  You are bright and beautiful…even when you are working my nerves with your brilliant testing-the-waters glare.  Let’s get along tomorrow cos I don’t want to have to eject you from my class. 

It has been said, or at least heavily implied, that I have a problem with authority.  Right now this little rebel yells 2 blocks from the Waukegan Police Department.  I have not calculated how many squad cars pass by per hour (calculation coming soon, no doubt), but it is many.  One thing that strikes me about all these cops is that they never look at me sitting on the porch as they drive by.  Sorry to sound like an egomaniac.  I am still not acclimated to all the cops so as soon as I see one pass by my eyes instantly zoom to their car.  Habit, I suppose.  I think even the most chaste nun will think twice about how straight and pure her steps are in the midst of the law.  Shame, really.  That we should feel guilty and examine our most innocent presentations in the presence of the police.  We are trained.  All of us.  But aren’t the cops serving and protecting (and being paid by) us?  And we feel guilty…?  Strange.  I digress.  This was not my original point, but words are flowing and Rage Against the Machine is on the speakers…

I meant to conclude that it is likely that the cops would calmly pass me by without a blink even if I was naked and smoking a massive spliff on my porch.  Sometimes the best place to get away with something is in the home territory of the beast.  Theory to be tested later…

There is SO a cassette deck in the driver’s ed car I am using at work!!!  I am about to get massively crazy to all the old jams!  If you see me dancing in my seat and singing at the stop light…just chuckle and forgive me.  Kid in the candy store syndrome.  I have not rocked the tapes in a good 5 years.  Mostly cos I haven’t had a deck that doesn’t eat tapes in that long.  Nice and Easy, Mo and Al’s wedding tape, Lynsee and Kai’s tape for long stoned drives, A syringe of joy, Local 101/Empire records…you will all soon get play.  Dust yourselves off.  Today I grooved to a Derek house mix…5 minutes of “condom song” (aka DJs @ work “go down” song) between driving lessons and classroom.  More to come.  Plus the addition of windows-down-hair-whipping-joy.  Wait…does the tail end of this summer keep getting better or what???

The mosquitoes are crazy bad this year.  Mosquitoes are something everyone has an opinion about.  I haven’t been around so I just have to listen to the theories.  Too much rain and blah blah blah.  I heard the City of Waukegan is dead broke…like California and Illinois broke.  Side note:  check this hilarious Onion article on what the State of Illinois is doing to make ends meet in this budget crisis (http://www.theonion.com/articles/illinois-does-a-few-adult-films-to-make-ends-meet,17823/) “I just want to be clear on one thing…IL does not do anal.”  LOL)  If I remember correctly, Waukegan sprays for mosquitoes.  Or they used to.  I remember in my youth the city trucks rolling through the neighborhood at night with their spraying sound innocuously filling the silence.  Maybe they are too broke to do it now.  All I know is that I can’t shake a damn shrubbery without being attacked…

I’m living with my friend Dave and his cat these days.  It’s so good to live with an animal again (the cat…not Dave).  Her name is “Sans,” cos she only has one eye, but I just call her “Kitty Pants.”  No reason.  It just came to me.  She is very adorable and I am enjoying her antics a lot.  She is kind of naughty and likes to climb on things and knock them over.  I find it hilarious even though it’s probably going to bite me in the ass one day.  One downfall of moving so much is not having an animal around.  Good times about to be had by all.  

American assimilation part #1,578: What I did for my summer vacation

I’m up to my ears in summertime these days.  It’s glorious.  Walking off a plane into summer is a pretty beautiful thing.  Something not to be missed.  Try it some time…I beg you…

Imagine all the cold baby-making days of winter that trudge on endlessly.  You look out the frosty bus window just dreading the sidewalk sludgefest awaiting your boots.  The chilly floors greeting your toes in the dark morning.  The cough syrup.  The undershirts.  In South Africa the winter is less ferocious but still less pleasant than the warm tank top days of summer in SA.  It is still possible to get a tan on the porch but you have to work much harder to soak up the sun.    

Imagine you can flip the script, winter to summer, in 24 hours.  We’ve all hoped for it from the frozen tundra.  I am sure of that. 

Well, I did it

Long version:  Joburg—Cairo—New York—Vermont—Chicago—Waukegan—Urbana—Waukegan

Short version:  Winter—Summer

So how have I spent my summer vacation?  I stand before you with sweaty palms and practiced cursive penned on paper…yarns to tell.  Grandma’s house?  Roadtrips?  Theme parks?  Just wait…

Today I went fishing.  Catfishin’ to be exact.  Saw some friends out last night and we made a lazy Sunday fishin’ pact.  Poles, chicken livers, smokes, Budweiser (yes, Taki, Budweiser), and a little spot of free time on a dusky Sunday coming down.  We didn’t catch shit, but it was good enough to be out there on the banks of “Dead Man Lake” (a few bodies are pulled out of there every year) just having a good time.  Slapping mosquitoes and swapping tales.  Overall it was an idyllic summer moment in a string of small joys that have welcomed me back to my home.    

My recent time in South Africa was short, comparatively.  But as my brother might recite…it was short and hard like a body building elf.  I was ready to come home this time.  More than ready. 

In these last weeks there’s been perfect moments of home that have wrapped me in a warm embrace.  Cliched feelings, maybe…insert warm milk and cookies or puppy dogs or rainbows.  But inside I still scream “I’M HOME! THIS IS MY F**KING HOME!”  The bread that raised the babe…

Cruising by instantly tall tassled corn

Demolition Derby and funnel cakes

Closing out the “basement” with my bro

Kilborn Alley on a Saturday night

PBR

Catfish perch on a darkened bank

Carnitas, root beer, orange tootsie roll pops

The dishes saga…continues

Dancing with Jacques

Metra meditation

Dirty looks from outside smoking corners

Porch livin’

Walking the streets at night without fear

Inappropriate old men and $1 snacks at the Rose Bowl

Moist humid dirt and forest smells

Cars that stop for you when you walk across the street

Organic tree huggin’ gluten free fare

Geeking out at the library

BBQ in the alley

Pharmaceutical scare tactics on prime time

Hulk Hogan debt commercials…CREDIT APPROVAL! (insert thunder sound effect)

Not being noticed on the street

Boycotting the ‘navigator’ position in mom’s car

Little Debbie

The Daily Show

Hugs…lots and lots of hugs

…plus many many more moments too tiny to record but powerful enough to register emotion…

Many of you folks I’ve met away from home have asked me about my home.  Sometimes I don’t know what to tell you.  It’s always the little things that escape grand description that give your home that unmistakable something.  I also don’t think my American experience describes what everyone here is doing.  I’m probably a bit of a weirdo in any environment.  But this is my essay.  This is my home.  This is my abridged summer so far. 

To the wonder and enchantment of summer...

Hugs

Lynsee

 

Summer thoughts from the train

"There's a bright, golden haze on the meadow.

The corn is as high as an elephant's eye

And it looks like it's climbing clear up to the sky.

Oh, what a beautiful Mornin'

Oh, what a beautiful day.

I've got a beautiful feelin'

Everything's goin' my way. "

-from "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning" from the musical "Oklahoma!"

(Some time around the "high as an elephant's eye" mark, Summer 2009)

The corn gave it away.  The corn always gives it away.  Watching the corn grow over the span of a summer is one of my favorite things about summer in the USA.  It’s the unofficial timeline for summer in the Midwest.  “Knee high by the 4^th of July” is what we say around here.  No matter what is happening with you the corn is always there growing and reminding you just how much summer has elapsed and how much is left for living it up.  Even though the field is bound to turn to dry brown stalks cut off at the shins…it’s still comforting to have the corn growing up around you in the summer.  It’s “home” to me.  I didn’t know I missed it until I saw a big field of tall ass corn in Vermont.  It made me realize that even though I just came from winter into summer…the summer is almost gone!  Better enjoy it while I can J

I’m currently speeding through the USA landscape on a train bound for Chicago.  Soaking up corn fields.  Thinking about how damn tall the corn is already as we pass each field.  The national long distance train in the USA, Amtrak, takes an interesting path through the USA.  Usually when I ride this train I feel like I am entering someone’s house from the back door they no longer use.  You pass a lot of fields…I’ve seen grapes, corn, soybeans, horticulture plants, evergreens, and some other things I couldn’t identify.  You pass through the forgotten railroad yards and industrial areas of days past…days when the train was king.  You seem to go through a lot of peoples’ backyards.  And tiny towns that have long been taken off the major car routes.  It seems like the whole human landscape has its back turned to you when you take the train while the human infrastructure of the highway is openly inviting you to enter.  Buy our gas.  Buy our food.  Stop here.  You don’t get that on the train.  You just pass through the backside of life.  It gives you an interesting glimpse of America.  A more relaxed and less pretentious look.  Plus there are less crazy people and folks coming home from jail on the train.  Always a bonus.  Compared to Amtrak…taking Greyhound is sort of like travelling through the legitimate underbelly of America.  Less than savory buses, passengers, and stations.  But Amtrak is a little classier and you get the back door view…nice. 

I started to think on summer cos in a few hours I’m going to be home to enjoy the tail end of summer with friends and family.  County fairs, demo derbies, riding with the windows down, staying up too late cos the summer magic has got you, and other such nonsense fueled by that hot summer vibe.

The corn (and Julie) told me…it’s county fair time!   

I think I talked about it before in an old post…but I’m most excited about the demo derby at the county fair.  County fairs are local events that usually last a week and often happen in the late summer.  People in the area  show off their livestock, farm produce, baked goods, art, home craft work, and just about anything else you can enter into a contest.  My favorite things to see here are the sheep, pigs (like to give a nice little slap on the backfat), and freaks of the farm (the tallest corn grown, etc).  Usually there are carnival rides, games, and plenty of the worst (and most delicious) kind of food you can stuff your face with.  You will find just about anything on a stick or fried at the county fair.  I’ve had fried twinkies and seen many other interesting fried things (like pickles).  Mmmm…funnel cakes are the best.  It’s fried dough that is drizzled out of a cone into hot oil.  When fried, it comes in the shape of an elephant’s ear (that’s the other name for it) made of one continuous fried dough worm and is covered with powdered sugar and other things.  Delicious! 

(Mmmmm...funnel cake...2010 Champaign County IL Fair)

But the real gem of any county fair, in my humble opinion, is the demolition derby.  Or demo derby for short.  The demo derby is a tournament involving cars that people enter as a team.  The cars in the derby “battle” in rounds of about 10 cars each.  They start in a blocked off area and just smash into each other until only a few cars are standing.  The cars that are left go on to the next rounds (semifinals, etc) and compete until only 1 car is left standing.  The cars are “fixed” up for the match, usually to make them more hardy and less dangerous.  The gas tank is removed and placed somewhere else.  All the glass is taken out of the car, etc.  There are rules (like you can’t usually hit people head on, you have to hit people while backing up into them) and surprisingly I have never really witnessed anyone getting majorly hurt at one of these events.  I have been to many demo derbies in my day and look forward to attending quite a few more.  Friday I should be down for the Champaign County Fair Demo Derby and if I have my way then I’ll be soaking up a few more before the summer is out. 

(2009 Lake County IL Fair's Demo Derby winner)

Last year at the Lake County Fair (the fair for my area) was the best for demo derby action.  I met a young lady through random chatter and we ended up watching the rest of the derby together.  It was great cos she was just as hardcore as me about the derby.  We shouted at cars and got covered in mud together.  She got us these radical seats in the front row about ½ way through the day so we really had it good for the final.  Damn…that was a sweet derby…

(Me and my new friend Wendy...the 2009 demo queens!)

This year there is a special event going on with my friend.  Her kids are showing horses, dogs, and chickens in the Kenosha County Fair up in Wisconsin and they are camping out for the whole week.  She’s invited me to come hang out with her and the fam for the week.  She enticed me with thoughts of how we could stumble home from the beer tent.  Nice one, Julie…but you had me at “sleepover at the county fair.”  Should be fun J  I haven’t done the fair sleepover thing in a long long time.        

Damn…headed into Toledo…5 hours behind schedule…which means I’m going to miss my chance to hit the Lake County Fair with my friend today.  But at least I’m headed home…finally…via Chicago. 

Hugs

Lynsee